Don’t you love it when you are in a situation that you finally have your ah-ha moment and realize that it was so simple to solve your situation in that moment, How easy it was for you to understand once your light bulb went off. Just saying those words makes me chuckle. Because so many times your focus is on the issue not the solution, or your focus is on the mistake not the learning experience of that mistake.
As you grow into the adult you see yourself becoming you don’t realize how impactful your childhood trauma has affected your adult decisions. It is amazing how a childhood experiences that has not been resolved continues to influence your adulthood decisions & mindset. What is wonderful about being an adult is that ,being an adult! Knowing you are being an adult. You are growing up to start understanding that if issues are not resolved you cannot grow as a person.
Most of my childhood experiences I made adult decisions with a child perspective. Not knowing that, I was so determine to be a certain way or make things happen that I was still stopping myself into healing from those childhood traumas. By not allowing myself to learn to become an adult.
I would like to share my story when I was graduating high school. I was so excited that I would live on my own. I would have my own life, that I was finally on my own to make my own decisions. Still not knowing those decisions were not adult decisions from a perspective of growth but decisions made from the perspective of hurt.
I finally did it! I saved up enough money to live on my own but was it enough? No, not really I just saved up three months worth. I felt that was enough money to have enough time to find a job in order to find a place of my own. Luckily I had some wonderful friends who help me see I do have a place to stay and I can find a place to work.
Still battling becoming an adult the child side of me wanted to enjoy my stay instead of being an adult. I wasted most of my money. Sure it was fun going shopping with friends and hanging out at the beach but reality hits you with responsibility. Seeing myself with little cash that shown to me how I need to be more responsible with my decisions and actions. So I took action and started looking for a job. Then I started planning out my situation to live on my own understanding the cost of living. Even though I was focused on the financial side I still didn’t understand how emotionally, mentality and physically your world changes if those areas in life are not meant with understanding.
Not allowing myself to really tackle the hard childhood traumas but knowing I need to take care of myself I decide to start somewhere. So I started taking care of my health by exercising. I knew I physically can do something different so I physically did. Now I was starting to understand my decisions can turn into action. I started feeling really good about myself and I was making decisions on eating healthy and exercising. Sticking with a daily routine I was falling in love with becoming an adult. As the few weeks went on I started thinking more about my situation. I started asking myself, “Who can I learn from that acts like an adult?” I was still determine not to learn from irresponsible adults. These irresponsible adults are physically an adult but I new there is more to the physical. I notice how they may look like an adult but their behavior shown me different seeing their mental & emotional state.
As I started searching I noticed I was learning from people that really inspired me mentally. I was still avoiding tackling the emotional side on becoming an adult. I knew I was growing into an adult but I was torn with having a child like mindset in learning.
You see I love learning and has always been like that. I didn’t know my innocence of learning would scare me into not fully allowing myself to hold myself accountable on becoming an adult. It was the same feeling I had from my childhood age in becoming a teenager. That you still want to play but you still want to be accepted from the other teenage peers.
It was in those moments where you still love what you love but you are realizing your own growth physically. Not realizing your decisions also effect you mentality and emotionally. I notice how I would behave in my environment from being excited of making my own life to being afraid to face reality. I would make decisions base off of those emotions and sometimes not realizing that most of my decisions was still base off the childhood experiences of survival.
What changed all that? My fear of growing up. I made the decision to go back to what was familiar to me. I made a decision base off of fear. Not knowing I was feeding my fear into stopping myself to fully become what I always saw myself be as an adult.
I didn’t realize till later in life being an adult is taking on the responsibility to hold yourself accountable to tackle all areas in your life Physically, Mentally & Emotionally. How important it is to heal from your childhood trauma so you can clearly handle being a responsible adult.
My goal is for this to inspire you to challenge you to seek and understand what areas in your life you can help improve physically, mentally, and emotionally.
*If you need professional help please seek out the support. It is so important for you to grow with the right support.*
For all to see that you can make decisions that are mistakes remember to acknowledge your mistake and forgive yourself. Make decisions that will help you learn from your mistakes.
I believe in you & I am proud of you! May your heart be filled with JOY!